It is hard to fathom the thoughts of a nineteen year old.
It is hard to consider which outside factors have effected your past, which influenced the present,
which inturn influences your future.
Every single moment spent somehow turns into a mascarade,
another page in your story.
The scale in which your past can influence a single moment of now is ridiculous.
No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that it doesn’t or it won’t… is a lie.
The past is what made you who you are right now, in this moment today.
Although it does not mean that you can’t change in the future and it doesn’t mean you can’t break the happen of running in circles.
It all really doesn’t matter.
I mean running from a past that you want to erase will only erase the future.
When reality is a dizzy dream like state and it is injected with pure abuse your bound to break.
When you bottle up your thoughts and feelings,
and hold back those question.
Your holding back on moving forward.
If we only have this moment then why are so driven in circles by whats to be 10 years from now,
or what happened within the 10 years past.
It is all insignificant.
We can plan ahead, we can make the steps forward from yesterday, wallow within now
and ponder the possibilities of tomorrow.
What is positive now may be negative later on.
The thing is we never know what is to come of us, the people we love, the people we meet.
The only thing certain is that we all live and die.
I guess really all I am trying to say is, love without regret, live now.
The past consumes souls because we allow it too.
Withdraw from the addiction.
Surround yourself with those who make you happy now.
Don’t worry about tomorrow because this moment is all you have and all you ever have.
Cause 2 minutes ago is history, and this single second is all we have.
Withdraw from your ego, forgive those who done you wrong, and continue to embrace this single moment and carry on.
"But I’d rather live telling the truth than be judged for my mistakes"
The thing is we grow up trying to live up to these expectations of our parents. These dreams they create. It is all bullshit. They want the best but sometimes they just smother you. I’d rather live and fail on my own terms then drive to be successful in something I never wanted. I don’t want to disappoint, but like macklemore says “I’d rather live telling the truth than be judged for my mistakes”. People will always judge but you just have to realise at the end of the day your happiness matters. It is never too late to change or rearrange your life. Don’t let others control you because in the end you’ll miss out on living. Kudos to everyone, happy wednesday.
I will not be a mannequin
The ego banish it
The roof’s on fire
Let’s burn down the Vatican - Macklemore “we danced”
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find someone to love.
I guess time will only tell if my dreams come true.